HappyMama

Our 2-year-old has resumed tantrum throwing.  I thought we were getting past this stage, until Wednesday, which turned out to be basically one long tantrum for him.  By “tantrum” I refer to all the types of behaviour that would thoroughly embarrass you if you had company over:  yelling, crying, thrashing about, throwing things, hitting & kicking - for an hour - all because he wanted a blue cup, but I didn’t know that and gave him a green one. 

By the time hubby came home from work, I was in one of those frantic states of “what the heck am I doing wrong here?” and “is this kid normal?”  What is making him go so berserk one minute, only to snap out of it and be perfectly sweet the next?  Is this the result of a food allergy?  Artificial food coloring & flavoring?  Pesticides or immunizations? Did kids ever act like this in previous generations or in other cultures?  What am I doing wrong?!

So I did what I always do under such circumstances, and I headed to the bookstore to ask the “experts”.  I long ago realized that for every bit of parenting advice out there, you can find another expert who will offer the exact opposite advice, so I wasn’t looking for suggestions on what I should be doing.  I just wanted to know if my kid was “normal”. 

I think I found some helpful information in the back of a book called “Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline”by Becky Bailey.  I haven’t read enough of the book to know if I should recommend the whole thing or not, but so far it’s been helpful.  There’s a chapter that describes the irritating things that kids do at each particular age, and as I’m reading through them, my mind is going, “check.  check.  check.”  (She also explains why they do what they do.)  Okay, my kids are normal, at least by today’s standards.  Here’s a sampling:

Infancy:  “between 8-10 months of age infants begin to intensely explore their parent’s faces.  In the process they may pull hair, pinch, stick their fingers in your nose, and grab your earrings or beard…”

Toddlers:  “Toddlers are a force to be reckoned with…  In short, toddlers fiddle with everything, often grow frustrated, and throw temper tantrums.”

Preschoolers (age 3-5):  “They may begin to swear and use elimination swear words.”  What was that?  “‘Doo-doo head’, ‘poo-poo brain’ etc.”  That’s normal?  What a relief.  My kid says things like that.  When he’s really wound up, he’ll say “pee on you!”  (complete with body language.)  And then the 2-year-old repeats it back to him, and then they both laugh hysterically.  It’s moments like that when I feel the enormity of the task I have of forming their character, and also when I really long for a daughter.