cooler online lyrics
Well happy 4th of July everyone! Especially 3 cheers to our military friends and my big bro who is out-of-country. Heard a new song by Brad Paisley on the radio this morning and thought it was cheesy but also funny, so here’s a laugh for you today: (don’t read if you’re sensitive to slightly crude)
I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I’m 5-foot-3 and overweight
I’m a sci-fi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I’ve never been to second base
But there’s whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace
‘Cause online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6-foot-5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I’m a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online
When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade
Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I’ve been in GQ
I’m single and I’m rich
And I’ve got a set of six-pack abs that would blow your mind…
When you got my kind of stats, it’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login
Online
I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6-foot-5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
